can someone say 180

It doesn´t seem like its been 3+ months since I left snowy Michigan and then snowy DC.....actually that´s a lie. It feels like it´s been much longer.

Just to sort of generalize and sum up my current feelings: It was a lot easier to be away when my thoughts of home were filled with freezing weather and snow. Now that I´m imagining the freshly blossomed flowers, warm spring air, and hopes of fun summer times, it´s getting quite a bit harder. Honestly, I think that most of this is due to my need to readjust all over again.

For the most part I feel settled in my new hospedaje home. (I had an epic battle which a cockroach last night. He insisted on continually attempting to climb the wall which hindered me from killing him until I brought the mosquito repellent into the playing field. He then had no choice but to fall and let me smash him with my Teva. This was a good lesson because I can now recognize the sound of a running cockroach in my room).

The food is great and with three decently well balanced meals a day and coffee everymorning in a beautiful semi outdoor dining room surrounding by Clarissa´s garden, I can´t complain. However, I have yet to do my laundry, and there is quite a load of dirty clothes crammed into my saco. There is a lavadora, I just haven´t gotten up the nerve to ask to use it. The days are hot, but the sound of occassional rain is soothing in the mornings. I have been told that I will come to dread this rain when the ¨rainy season¨ officially starts in a couple of months. To prepare I am buying rubber boots today.

I think the biggest obstacle in my adjustment is language in the workplace. By language I mean Spanish and not swearing. I thought I could successful communicate, while still basic, with anyone, but this has proven especially challenging with my new colleagues and the ladies in the casa materna. The talk very fast and casual (someone slurred) with eachother and therefore the same with me. I feel awkward asking them to repeat and slow down. They often do but in the same words. So if I didn´t understand something the first time it´s unlikely that I´ll understand it the second time. I just keep telling myself that this will come in time, but it sure is hard to plan my work when I don´t feel valued because of my language. My site visit on the 26th should help clear some things up. I know that I´m supposed to take things slow right now during these first few months, but forming real relationships with my counterparts and the casa materna is vital to my future work. Its not that I can´t communicate when I need to or that they ignore me because I can´t speak, Its only that I don´t feel confident anymore. I´m sure that when I get my tutor (after semana santa because the spanish prof is on vacation), I will improve a lot. Actually its not even that I need to learn more. I know a lot. I plan anything I want to say perfectly and understand someone´s words long after the fact. It´s the inbetween execution of my words and ability to quickly respond that´s lacking. Clarissa, my sort of host mom, but more like a friend, keeps reminding me that I´m doing fine and will improve quickly. However, it´s a lot easier to speak to her or other gente in the town when there is no professional pressure.

Sorry that was really rambly, but I just had to get it out there. Other that those concerns, my town is as beautiful as always. I visited both the escuela and the instituto on thursday and introduced myself to the teachers and students. I also visited the alcalde (mayor) and he seemed happy to have me and willing to help with whatever I needed (now I´ll just have to get up the courage to follow through on that help when I need it).

I also visit the cacao cooperative on Wednesday (started my the germans). They practiced giving a tour on me and I got to eat some delicious yet armargo (i think it means bitter) freshly sun dried cacao seeds. Something that not many others can say they´ve done. I only had a few as I thought was acceptable. Then the ¨tour guide¨ asked if I didn´t like them. I said that of course I did, and he said something to the effect of ¨well eat some more then.¨ Down here the rules regarding moderation are a bit fuzzy. If you eat something just because its good for you implies that you love it and want to eat it all the time (i.e. cucumbers, beets, gallo pinto, fresco de piña). I like to enjoy a varied diet, and that is just hard to grasp sometimes. However, I think I´ve finally rid myself of the soup. I really don´t mind soup, but I do not enjoy a ginormous serving bowl filled with hot liquid and ginormous chunks of vegetables and meat (of course still on the bone) when it´s at least 75 degrees outside. Clarissa somehow telepathically knows this and hasn´t once offered me the soup. If she did I would politely decline, but its much easier to not even have to encounter the situation. I´ve also eaten fish at least one time every day for the last week. I know that this will suprise you, Mom and Dad, but if you ate the same fish I do everyday you would understand. I get a few pieces (just enough) of finely breaded, just barely moist, and perfectly fried fish without the bones. It doesn´t even taste fishy. I realized that the reason I really didn´t like fish was the flavor and the chance of encountering a deadly bone. Here I have yet to come across that problem. Its also a lot cheaper to eat fish, so ¨when in (nicaragua)....¨

On the topic of food, Clarissa has begun to teach me to cook Nica style. Actually I just started watching over the counter and she began to quiz me. I would have learned in Santa Teresa, but I was always busy when the food was being prepared. I now know the concept of how to make Nica rice and fresco de pineapple, however i haven´t practiced yet. Clarissa said that this week (semana santa) there will be fewer clients in the hospedaje so she´ll let me practice some cooking.

...It seems like everything is happening ¨after¨ semana santa. Cooking, my site visit, legit work planning, visits to the communities, and a visit to a finca where they grow cacao. Oh, I also met the Alemana who lives in Jill´s old house. She invited me over to dinner on sunday. We had some good conversations (obviously in spanish because she is german and i don´t know german)(also one reason I am confused about why Its hard to understand my counterparts). However, I need to get to know her more if I hope to live in her house.

Well I´ve spent far too long on the internet, but I probably won´t get back to San Carlos for a few more weeks. However, I overheard mention of a cyber in my site the other day, so I definitely need to investigate. Also, I sent my first memory card home last week, so be looking for pictures from my parents.

I wish myself buena suerte!!! I know the adjustment will come eventually (it always does). I´m just hoping for sooner rather than later.

As always I miss you all and think of you often.

P.S. I already have lots of plans for those who come to visit me.